ANGEL NUMBERS

You always liked talking about the universe and angel numbers, and I loved how you perceived human beings as energies and vibrations. Every time the clock read 11:11 or 2:22, you used to begin your session with the numbers.

You said you wanted to write about the little things that fill you up with huge sentiments, and a rush of emotions. With you, I began to fall in love with the thrill. Maybe that is why today, I seek comfort in psychologically thrilling movies that bend your mind, send in a sea of emotions but sometimes leave you feeling empty and numb. But there’s a different pleasure in feeling empty.

Sometimes I appreciate the void in my heart, a sense of feeling incomplete all the time. And I treasured the pain. Are these the things you craved to write about because I feel all sorts of things these days?

The thing I hate about memories is they’re vivid. To this day, I still remember the exact moment we could smell each other, so close that your freckles stopped appearing tiny and the end of your lashes touched my brows. It was the last time I saw you before you decided to leave me in the hands of the universe and built yourself a home among the stars. I wonder if the sight of blood running down your wrists still haunts your parents who asked us to die instead of being in love with a woman.

Noor, today, every time I notice repeated numbers, my heart gets burdened with regrets of not being powerful, of not living my minutes with you to the fullest, of not loving you as I do now.

It’s 11:11, and I’m gazing at the stars and drawing your face joining them. And wondering if I should come to you but, then I remember how you said loving someone forever is the hardest thing to do and I desperately want to prove you wrong because loving you till my last breath is the easiest for me.

Priyansha Khadka
The British College
BSc Computing (Level 5)